Loving through Your Differences by James L. Creighton

Author:James L. Creighton
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: New World Library

When You and Your Partner Have Different Values

The key to dealing with values differences is this: even when your partner opposes what you think is important, look for the positive good that your partner supports. Values choices are not black-and-white choices. They are usually a matter of finding a balance: recognizing that you both support a positive value, honoring both values to an extent, but perhaps giving greater weight to one of the values in particular circumstances. Your children’s safety is good, but so is freedom of action. Which is more important in a given situation?

Your job as a couple is to identify the values for which each of you is arguing. When you recognize what the other person stands for, you may find that you are not so far apart. Even when you think a certain value — say, safety — is more important in a particular situation, you may acknowledge that comfort is important too. Instead of either/or, you are looking for both/and. You are working together to find ways to give both values a reasonable weight.

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